You asked for it (OK, maybe you didn’t, but you’re going to get it anyway): here are romantic scenes from my three high school novels, The Golden Sword (Grade 10), Ship from the Unknown (Grade 11) and The Slavers of Thok (Grade 12). For those joining the party late, I’ve previously posted the opening pages and selected action scenes from these works of early, um…genius.
Yeah, let’s call it genius.
As always, let’s begin with The Golden Sword. A romantic moment as written by 14-year-old Eddie Willett:
***
"Loranne, is there somewhere else to talk?"
"Certainly! Come out to our garden--I designed it, see if you like it." She led him out through the kitchen, out a rear door, and into the garden.
The garden was huge--or gave the impression of being huge--a mini-forest, a pond, and several smooth stone seats. There were hanging vines from the walls, huge beautiful flowers along the path, and a small waterfall at one end, coming from a spring from which they drew their water.
She led him to a seat under a huge cort tree, and they sat together. "Loranne, I can't tell you how much I missed you."
"I felt the same way, Kyle, but you had to fight--you couldn't desert."
"True--but I felt like a deserter when I left you here."
"Kyle, you did your duty, and it brought you fame and fortune."
"I'm glad you feel that way. I was afraid--well, that you wouldn't love me anymore."
"Not love you! That's ridiculous."
"Maybe--but that is what I feared. But if it is true that you still love me--show me."
"I will!" She reached across and their lips met in a passionate kiss that spoke volumes.
When they separated, some thirty-three seconds and an eternity later, Kyle said, "I believe you!" She laughed, then got to her feet.
***
Well…it could have been worse. At least I didn’t attempt to describe their wedding night…
OK, 15-year-old Eddie, what can you offer us from Ship from the Unknown?
Hmmm. Apparently there is no romance in Ship from the Unknown. It’s non-stop action. This is as close as I come:
***
I jumped down from the tree and Pete and Paula returned a moment later. Hurriedly we dragged the unconscious man into the jungle. Then I took his weapon and looked it over. "How on earth do you fire this thing?" I asked.
Pete took hold of it and turned it slowly over in his hadns. "I don't know," he admitted after a moment.
Impatiently Paula grabbed it. "We haven't got all day. This is simply a modified version of a KS-229 long-range repeating rifle."
While Pete and I stared at her open-mouthed, she clambered up the dune and flung herself down at its crest. Two shots rang out in quick succession, and by the time Pete and I reached the top, the two guards below us were dead.
Paula, business-like, stood up and slung the rifle over her shoulder. Then her composure broke, and she flung herself on me, sobbing. I comforted her as she clung to me. "It's all right, Paula...we had no choice..." Gradually her heaving shoulders quieted and her sobs subsided, and she looked up at me.
"I'm sorry, Ed...I...I just...when those two went down like that, and I knew suddenly that I had killed them..."
"I know how you feel, Paula!" I said, urgently. "But don't let it get to you. None of us want to kill these men, but what other option is open to us?"
"You're right...let's go..." Together we slid and stumbled down the hill to the dock, where Pete was looking at the boats and the cruiser.
***
Sniff. Brings a tear to your eye.
And that’s about as close as I got to anything even the slightest bit mushy in that story.
The Slavers of Thok has a romance running through it, but I don’t seem to have done much to dramatize it. This is the best I can come up with (oh, and by the way, Liola is a mute former slave–and you can keep your pop psychoanalzying of my teenage psyche to yourself, thank you very much):
***
Someone was bent over a motionless bundle, tugging at it. I spun the stooped figure around--and found myself staring face to face with the slaver who had captured me in Soltan--the slaver who had killed my father--who ahd burned my city--who had humiliated me--threatened Liola's life--all this flashed through my brain in a timeless instant, then my sword was in my hand--and the slaver was writhing on the dock,his hands at his throat, trying vainly to stop his life blood from pouring out.
I wasted no more time on him, but turned to the still motionless figure. I pulled back the edge of the cloak that covered its face, and--Liola!
"Liola!" I screamed, and gathered her in my arms. "Liola! Wake up! You've got to--oh, please wake up! Liola!"
Then, to my inutterable relief, she stirred, and opened her eyes--and smiled. "Oh, Liola," I sobbed. "Thank the One you're all right."
Then, and only then, did I think of the others. "Liola! Where are the others? Are they all right?"
She shook her head.
"You don't know? Where--" then I stopped, frustrated. How could she tell me anything? "I've got to look for them. You go up into the city--and stay there!"
She shook her head.
"Don't worry about me--I'll be all right. But I have to know you're safe! Can't you see that?"
She bit her lip, then reluctantly nodded, and started toward the city. I watched her for a moment. Sudddenly she turned, ran back to me, flung her arms around me, kissed me--and fled.
Thus fortified, I headed for the Thokian ships, which were lightly moored to the dck and brightly lit by the burning dockside buildings.
***
As I think you can see, I was much more interested in action that romance. But then, I was one of those boys who loved war movies but absolutely dreaded those useless scenes where soldiers talked with their wives or girlfriends. What was the point of that? Let’s blow stuff up!
I suspect, among teenage boy writers, I was not unique in this regard.
There you have it, then; a fine selection of juvenalia. I think I’ve improved over the last 30 years.
If you disagree…well, I’d rather not know.
